As I sit here at work (just finished eating lunch), on my second day back in the office since I was off all summer on maternity leave, I came across an interesting study in the NY Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/26/business/26leonhardt.html?_r=1&em&ex=1191297600&en=031f43e2931176fb&ei=5087%0A&oref=slogin) which discussed several studies that found that men are happier than women. According to the article, the happiness gap has been creeping up on us since the 1960s, when women began working outside the home in large numbers. In the early 70s, women were happier; now men are. Researchers believe the gap comes from the fact that men now spend more time than ever parenting, cooking, exercising, fishing, watching sports and all-around relaxing, and less time working, while women work more than ever. Damn, you can't win. I've always wanted a great career, a job I truly enjoyed, and I've gotten my wish. But is having my wish come true making me unhappy?
I know this is my first week back at work, but this is how the last 24 hours of my life have gone.
YESTERDAY
5:00 pm - Left work
5:30 pm - Picked the kids up from daycare
5:45 to 6:00 - Played and snuggled with the kids
6:30 - Put Anna to bed
7:00 - Made & ate dinner
7:30 - Gave Nate a bath
8:00 - Watched 64 Zoo Lane with Nate
8:30 - Started Nate's bedtime routine; got him in bed by 8:45
9:00 - Watched House
9:45 - Went to bed
TODAY
2:00 - Up with Anna
4:00 - Changed Anna's diaper
7:00 - Woke up and got ready for work
7:45 - Woke Anna up and snuggled for about 5 minutes before Marc took the kids to daycare
8:15 - Got to work
and I have been working ever since except for when I am pumping.
So I have had no quality time with my babies, no time to spend with Marc, and had little down time for me. And these are supposed to be the happiest years of my life! Hmm. I used to think I was crazy for feeling this pervasive sense of unease and pressure and discontent. Now I just think I'm a woman. I would make a plan to change this, but who has the time? (Not just to make the plan, but also to implement it).
Another interesting thing in the article. Men apparently enjoy being with their parents, while women find time with their mom and dad to be slightly less pleasant than doing laundry. What do you think about that, Mom and Dad? (BTW, I totally disagree with that finding!)
3 comments:
Ha! Yea, I agree with you about the part about women spending time with their parents equaling "work" and not "fun." That's really bizarre.
Do you know what I think the biggest problem is? The fact that working parents don't ever get a break. There should be at least a year of paid leave after having a baby. At least four weeks of vacation a year. Fewer work hours.
I think that's where a lot of the unease and stress with working moms come from. There's just no way to balance everything the way the current system is now.
I think Liz is on to something! ..and I think you're being kind to us parents. I think the article is pretty true although wide variations do happen.
It's good that the ladies have a career but the early years definitely place the workload on the Mom.
When I get back, I'm up for a long weekend with Nate and Anna! You and Marc can go rest someplace!
Dad
Glad you both disagree with that last comment!
I think we're a remarkably close family and I'm so proud of all of you and our five beautiful grandchildren.
Hugs,
Mom
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